bump ahead {hopefully}

Apparently, when you grow up, you have to make important decisions. No one is there to decide for you. You can take this realization in one of two ways: either you feel grateful that you are able to decide for yourself where your life is going, or you are completely overwhelmed at the thought of being responsible for the consequences of making the wrong decisions.

Right around the time of our one year wedding anniversary in October, Danny and I starting talking about what was next for us. If we won the lottery, we’d buy the house of our dreams (or 2, or 3 houses), and start a family right away. But with some lingering credit card and student loan debt, we decided we needed to choose between saving for a down payment on a home or having a baby. This talk was very grown up and led us into unsailed waters. We used a down payment and monthly mortgage payment calculator to determine a budget, had our realtor send us listings, and even drove around to look at houses. We also researched the effect of age on fertility, cost of day care for the baby, and what maternity benefits our employers offer. When it came down to it, we decided we loved the rental home we’re in now and that we both wanted to have a baby first. (Yay!)

I was very excited about the idea of us starting to try. But I’m a very private person and didn’t want to tell anyone, even my mom what our plans were. Danny and I went on a very sweet date and talked all about this new plan for our future. We even went to Barns & Noble afterward and perused the baby books section. I may or may not have bought the classic What to Expect when You’re Expecting while we were there. One of the reasons I was so excited after our decision that we would start trying for a baby stemmed from my family’s reaction to my wedding. I’m going to try very hard to not sound like a brat here, but my family was pretty much tired of weddings by the time I got married. I am the youngest of four and as coincidental timing would have it, my parents had to go through 4 straight weddings in back to back years. By the time my wedding came around, there weren’t any “my baby girl is getting married” tears. It was more “just tell me how much money you need”. By the time my wedding pictures came in, my mom barely looked at them because my brother, who had gotten married 3 years prior, was proud to provide the first grandchild in the family and just happened to be visiting. So it was finally my turn to not be last. Imagine the surprised expressions on their faces when I told them we were pregnant! And with only one grandchild in the family, there was a 50/50 chance we’d have the first granddaughter! For the first time, I’d get the excitement that I missed out on from parental milestone fatigue.

Then, with one phone call, everything changed. My mom called to tell me my sister was pregnant. And during that conversation, we learned that she had forgot to mention in previous phone calls that my step-sister was also pregnant. I hung up in tears. Not one, but two babies would be born in the family next summer. My very sweet husband held me and told me it would still be special because it would be ours - our experience and our baby.

Since time was on our side, we came up with a plan. We got lucky that open enrollment for both of our employers was going on during all of this. I compared each of my husband’s available medical plans to each of mine. And we were able to sign me up for the plan that covered the most, cost the least, and was accepted by my ObGyn and the hospital. (Yes, I already had an ObGyn, but that’s just because my Gyn just happen to also be an Ob.) Now when we did get pregnant, I wouldn’t have to worry about things like whether or not we could afford an emergency room visit. After over 10 years, I stopped taking my birth control pills in December. And I have my preconception visit next week.  

Then we had to consider timing. I do not want to be 9 months pregnant in the 100% humidity 100 degree Georgia summers. In the fall, you’ve got Danny’s bday, our anniversary, and HELLO! Georgia football. In the winter, I already get annoyed at sharing the birthday spotlight with Jesus. So the plan is to have a late winter / spring baby. We will start trying in May!

Neither family nor any of our friends know any of this. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog. This will be my place to come to share all of these experiences from the journey on which we are about to impart.